the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You are a genius and a whore.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
