I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
