he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
