question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
