so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize