I can tuck mytits in my pants
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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