Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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