This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
