Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Shame - the story of my life.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
