no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
