I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so let's talk penis.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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