So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
