i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
