Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize