Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize