I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize