Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
