i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
