awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So much Jack, so little girl.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
