I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize
