The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
