All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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