U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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