if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
