Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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