so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
