i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
