It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
