apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
