every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Holy shit dude........stairs
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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