I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
