Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
