I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
