then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
