Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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