Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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