Tell her she can't have a vagina
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
