There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
