i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
