I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
