you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
