Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
