There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize