After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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