I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize