we're blogging at a bar
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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