i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
