she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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