capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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