Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
