I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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