u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize