yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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