I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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