Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
my liver is dry heaving
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
