For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
