if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
