I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize