I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
