I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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