Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she told me i tasted like america
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
