Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
