Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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