im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
